I wrote the following on May 2nd
Being outed sucks, especially when the instrument of that outing is this blog. Recently my blog has been marked as private in order to try and regain control of my own narrative. I am not sure how, but a few weeks ago this little outlet of mine started to make the rounds at my work. I am, as you may know, an international school teacher and I work in a bubble, an expat/teacher microenvironment. For obvious reasons, I wanted to remain in the closet to work people until my tenure at this fine institute is over in June (today!).
Now I hear what you are going to say, “It’s the internet, of course you were going to get caught.” I felt very secure that no one was ever going to find this, how could they? I don’t get enough blog traffic to be Googleable. But it did get found. I am not sure how it happened really, a leak from a colleague, or maybe an instagram fuckup and a hypercurious colleague did some research? Water under the bridge. What does concern me is the danger people place trans people in by outing them. Besides making my work an incredibly uncomfortable place to be for several weeks—the break down I mysteriously had in front of my boss—outing LGBTQIA people is really dangerous (trans people experience disproportionately more police harassment, workplace discrimination, physical and sexual violence, and suicide rates: the later likely based on the former. Especially in a place like Korea. Look at next week’s election, none of the candidates support LGBTQIA rights, save Sim, and she ain’t gonna win.
On top of that, this blog has been my window to the community outside of Korea, and that has been essential to my sanity this past year. Because as supported as I’ve been, and as many privileges that I have had this past year, coming out and transitioning in a foreign country, one often hostile to your existence, is not easy. It has been lonely, scary, and really, really, hard. And my blog, this blog, has been a way of escaping part of that isolation. This experience has somewhat soured this source of catharsis and outreach. However, this post is my attempt to take back control.
Takeaway: statistically you may not meet or be aware of many trans people as you go through life, we are 1 in 3000. I understand that we are interesting and question some fundamental assumptions about human nature that can only increase the curiosity factor we incite in some. Just know that for all of the curious out there, there are legions of people who feel threatened by our existence, and they are not curious, but hostile. So, think before you out someone, because it just might cause them more pain than you realise.
My blog will return in June.